Ephesians 1:17-18, ESV

“That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints.”

My Creator, Father God first got my attention when I was a senior in high school and I attended a Bible study with my sister Barb. I listened with polite interest to the discussion of a chapter in Romans and don’t even remember which chapter it was.  But at the end of the study all were invited to pray. When the leader began to pray, I was thunderstruck – he was talking to God as if he really knew and loved him and enjoyed nothing more than conversing with Him along with his high school friends.  Somehow, I knew that I was to begin that relationship and so I prayed out loud with my heart pounding. At the end of the prayer time the leader approached me and said, “I think something very exciting just happened.” Indeed. It would be many years later that the Holy Spirit would shake me again as I sat in the hospice house room with my first husband during his last days on this earth. A dear man who had been the headmaster of the school we both taught at entered the room, sat down and began to chat with Rich. Somewhere in the chatting he began to pray, as easily as if Jesus was sitting in the room with us. Ah yes. Somewhere in the business of building a strong marriage, raising children and living a productive life I had forgotten to talk with Jesus about it all. I had forgotten to seek counsel from my heavenly Father. I had invested in relationships with everyone except the One who would never leave me or forsake me – the One to whom all the other relationships point.  But He had not forgotten me. Four years later, I visited a man who would become my second husband. And once again, our gracious God drew me back into conversation, when Ted invited me, (upon entering his house for the first time) to come to his prayer room and seek the Lord together. I watched him in our first year of marriage begin and end every counseling session – even phone conversations – with prayer and laughed out loud the first time I realized that I was doing the same. I now thrill to the voices of teenagers the first time they approach their heavenly Father with trembling hearts and halting words. And I know that “something exciting is happening.” 

About twelve years ago I heard a teaching by Jimmy Evans in which he stated that he begins every day in a corner of his house with his Bible and his journal, reading and responding to the Word of God. He said that every night he sets his alarm for an hour earlier than his first appointment of the day requires. I thought, “I could do that!” And now I realize that God has blessed me with more knowledge of who He is through this one discipline than I could ever have gained in any other way. The Bible IS the way God has chosen to reveal Himself most specifically to us. It grieves me that I missed this for so many years of my life, but I am grateful beyond words that I am not missing it now. The prayer I recorded in my journal on Jan 1, 2018 says, “Thank you Lord for all of Scripture. I get excited just thinking about the new treasures You will reveal in it this year.”

Oh Father – the gift of Your presence is more precious than I ever imagined. I know now that I am only able to approach you because of the sacrifice of Your Son, Jesus.  He lived the life I could not live and died the death I should have died. I can scarcely comprehend the depth of Your love, willing to suffer excruciating physical and spiritual pain in order to secure my life and the lives of any and all who would accept the gift. There is so much more of You for me to get to know. Grant me a receptive heart to all that You would say to me. To You alone goes all the glory.

In 2024, as I look back on the last six years– I realize that what God has been teaching me now is that surrendering to the Holy Spirit and listening and obeying His voice every day is what He desires in a more radical way than I have done before. Just yesterday, I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit in a way I have never experienced before. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the words that I spoke and the attitude I had were all gifts from God, not depending on my own wisdom. I want to live this way every day. Lord, help me.