Romans 8:28, New International Version

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

My Testimony (Part Two)

The Breaking Point

The weekend of my son Josiah's first birthday, my world shattered.

I discovered that my best friend—my husband—was having an affair.

I was blindsided. Devastated. Broken.

I found myself on my knees in the middle of the yard, crying out to God, asking, “Why?” I felt like a complete failure.

I failed…

I failed at carrying a baby.

I failed to have a healthy baby.

I failed to keep my baby alive.

I failed to hold my marriage together.

What I didn’t realize at the time—my love for and dependency on my husband—had become greater than my love for and dependency on God.

I found myself divorced and raising my son as a single parent. I was living in the very situation I had hoped would end with me. The cycle of brokenness felt like it had repeated itself.

Again, I felt like a failure.

I began drifting further and further from God. I wanted to love Him. I wanted to  believe that He works all things together for good (Romans 8:28), but nothing about my situation felt good.

And yet… even in my anger, even in my questions, even in my grief—God never left me.

Please come back next week to read, “My Testimony” (Part Three)