Proverbs 16:9, New Living Translation

“We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.”

He is with me every step of the way (Part Three)

We moved to Boardman when I was fourteen. So, I went from a small town–- living in the country–to a small, inner-city-type environment, to the outskirts of what at the time had a reputation for mob activity. From schools of around two hundred kids total, to Boardman High School– where, in my graduating class alone there were six hundred students–multiply by four. I was so totally lost; a very shy introvert with big dreams. I wanted to be involved in sports and music, and be a cheer leader. But I didn’t know any of this school's cheers, or anyone to teach me. These kids had had lessons for gymnastics and every other thing. Most of them had grown up together. It seemed like everyone already knew everyone else. They didn’t need me, and I was too shy and scared to introduce myself. I wanted to take band class, but the teacher didn’t want me because I didn’t already know how to play an instrument. The last school I was in didn’t offer band class. I really felt like an outcast. (This was at home also, my sister was always portrayed over me, she is my opposite). I never understood what was wrong with me, why nobody seemed to like me. I had hoped to be able to make some friends with this move. At least I didn’t seem to have any enemies. I just never really found any place where I could fit in. Also, I really struggled with schoolwork. This school system seemed to be much harder than the one I had just left. I went home every night with my arms loaded up with homework. I wouldn’t have been able to keep up if I did get  involved in extracurricular activities. I almost failed my POD class as a senior, which would have kept me in school another year!

I have always wanted to do gymnastics, sing, and play piano and guitar. But in my home these lessons were “a waste of money.”

I got my driver’s license at the very earliest possible date, my sixteenth birthday. Dad taught me to drive a standard. So, I was really proud that I could drive both a stick and an automatic. Finally, something I could do and was good at. I was in a clerical class at school that had a work program connection to help get teens started in the workforce. So, my first job was sitting at the information desk in the South Side hospital downtown. At age sixteen, I felt that I had finally arrived. I was starting to get some freedom. It was at some point around this time that I found the Church of God in Youngstown through a girl I went to school with and had only just met. I think it was her uncle's church and he was the preacher. It was also at this time that my sister and I were finally allowed to be water baptized. I guess it had something to do with my parents not having to be involved, since I was able to drive us there and back. They didn’t have to attend.

At the end of my Junior year, I also met my first boyfriend. At some point in that summer, I finally confided in my plight with my dad. My boyfriend was visiting me one evening when my mom was not home. When he was ready to leave, I begged him not to go just yet. Of course, he needed to know why I wanted him to stay longer, and he finally coaxed it out of me that when my mom wasn’t home, dad would bother my sister and I in unwanted ways. This opened up a whole new Pandora's box, as he convinced me to share this news with his mom who convinced my sister and I to contact child services. This was another extremely uncomfortable time for our whole family.

At the age of seventeen, while chaperoning my sister on a date with a much older man, I met my husband at a roller-skating rink. He was one year older than me and had grown up in Beaver Falls Pa., a small city, with an absentee father of four boys. Dirt-poor. But he was out of school and had a job and a new car! A 1978 Ford Pinto station wagon, the kind known for an exploding gas tank when hit from behind. This car became very problematic in our early years of marriage. He had been raised Roman Catholic but was not currently practicing his religion. I had no idea that I was Pentecostal nor what either of them meant, only that we both believed in Jesus. (At that time, I believed that was enough). We became pretty serious very quickly; he wouldn’t let a night go by without coming to see me. He had a hard job working in a China factory all day, and it was about a 40 - 45-minute drive one way to get from his house to mine. I was still in school but not working at this point. I was still in the throws of a messed-up family life, which he came to understand quickly also. He needed to get me out of there. I wanted to get out of there. However, I didn’t really want to get married right away. He really wasn’t ready for it either. So, we planned on getting married in another year.

Please come back next week to read, “He is with me every step of the way” (Part Four)