Romans 8:28, New International Version

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

God Was Directing My Path (Part One)

I had a very happy childhood. As I got older, I began running with the wrong crowd. At fourteen, I was introduced to alcohol and marijuana, which quickly became habits. Over time, that lifestyle escalated into experimenting with psychedelics at festivals and parties.

When I was nineteen, I met a man at a party who started out as a friend and eventually became my boyfriend when I was twenty. At first, I didn’t know he was using harder drugs—he kept it hidden. When I eventually found out, he convinced me to start using drugs with him. I quickly became addicted, ran away from my family, and darkness began to take over my life.

Because of our drug use, we became homeless and lived in a tent. My mental health deteriorated rapidly. I hallucinated, believed everyone around me was dangerous, heard voices, and lived in constant anxiety. Depression consumed me, and my entire existence revolved around chasing the next fix just to feel normal. In reality, I was slowly destroying myself and didn’t even realize it.

Even in the depths of my addiction, God was working behind the scenes for my good —I just couldn’t see it yet. I believed God was distant and not with me, but He was with me the entire time.

Eventually, my boyfriend was arrested, and I moved back in with my parents. I stopped using harder drugs, but I continued drinking daily and remained unhappy. When my boyfriend was released, I returned to him. Somehow, we both stayed sober for a year. I was working at Dick’s Sporting Goods, doing well, and was close to becoming a manager. I had even given up alcohol.

On my thirtieth birthday, my boyfriend relapsed. I later discovered he hadn’t been paying rent, and we lost our home. Once again, we found ourselves homeless. This time, I fell into a deep depression, and the only way I knew how to cope was to get high. I relapsed and was introduced to fentanyl and meth.

My mental health worsened drastically, and I experienced drug-induced schizophrenia. My life became a living nightmare—I felt like I was dancing with the devil daily.

Please come back next week to read, “God Was Directing My Path” (Part Two)