Psalm 23:1-6, Holman Christian Standard Bible

“The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I lack. He lets me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He renews my life; He leads me along the right paths for His name’s sake. Even when I go through the darkest valley, I fear no danger, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff — they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Only goodness and faithful love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord as long as I live.”

Trigger warning: Today is a little heavy.

When Carson, our firstborn, died at thirty-seven weeks unexpectedly, I really had no idea of what to do. We drove home from the hospital with an empty car seat at the back of our CRV. We were greeted by a quiet home, filled with stillness. Our nursery door stayed shut for months. To be honest, there wasn’t much that I could do or anything that I wanted to do.

My body had to heal from the trauma of birth, but I knew my heart would never fully recover. As we approach his eighth “birthday” in about eight weeks, I can still say that’s true. My heart, though full of love from his brothers and sister, will always have a piece missing.

If you are in the thick of life right now, I want you to know these four things:

1. Everything has purpose – from the hardest of hard to the best of the best, God can and will use it, when we allow Him. Paul wrote in Romans 8:28 (HCSB): “We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose.” For me, God has used Carson’s short time to bring about so much good. Though my heart still hurts, I am grateful to see good things coming from such hard loss.

2. Suffering and loss are where the rubber meets the road for faith. For years, I had proclaimed to be a Christian. However, losing Carson took my faith from being somewhat passively engaged to being fully active. Suffering really is where the rubber meets the road. It is where these questions come into play: Do we believe the things we have heard and studied? Could they really be true for us? Could God still be good throughout so much heartache and grief? From firsthand experience: He has been throughout our entire journey. He is so good, and He is faithful to remain so.

3. For so many years, although I believed in God, I worked by my own strength. I planned and prepared for everything. Throughout the unimaginable though, there is no planning and preparation. The Lord gently showed me throughout our loss that His grace is in fact sufficient for me, for His power is truly perfected in weakness. I realized that I actually wasn’t driving this bus I call life. It's not by anything that we have done, do, or will do, but it is solely by everything Jesus has done for us. In the words of Paul, “But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness. Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9, HCSB). He is faithful to provide, friends.

4. Which brings me to my last point, throughout my grief journey, God physically became my shepherd, because He is “...the good shepherd. [And] The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.” The good shepherd “...knows His own sheep, and they know Him.” (John 10:11,14. HCSB)

My friends, we all walk through things that nearly break us: Loss, illness, the unthinkable, and worse, but even so, God is still working. He is still present. Throughout the sufferings we experience here, He invites us into a deeper level of intimacy with Him: A deeper level of knowing and trusting Him and a deeper level of allowing Him to lead us as a good shepherd does. Throughout my suffering, it's been an opportunity to allow Him to become My Shepherd. He can be yours too. Wherever you are in your faith journey, whatever it is you’re facing right now, I pray these words will comfort and sustain you as they have for me. Let's pray through Psalm 23 this week. Let the words fall on you.

Psalm 23:1-6, (HCSB)

“The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I lack. He lets me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He renews my life; He leads me along the right paths for His name’s sake. Even when I go through the darkest valley, I fear no danger, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff — they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Only goodness and faithful love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord as long as I live.”