Matthew 11:28, New International Version

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

Conquering Chaos: Finding Peace in Christ (Part Three)

Finally, the last bit of what I would share wasn’t quite chaos, but felt it needed to be part of my testimony about becoming a mother. I think of faith in God and how through that faith we find peace. A verse that came to mind is John 14:27 (NIV), “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” 

Last year at a conference, I was yearning to become a mother and there were two moms who came up and shared their testimonies. I couldn’t help but be envious of them– and hurt because I wanted to become a mother and it just wasn’t happening yet. I journaled to God about it for several months until I finally just said “God, if I am not meant to be a mom, if that’s not your plan for me, I will be okay. It hurts right now, but I will be okay, because I trust you.” At the end of that conference, I went upstairs for prayer, and those ladies always knew what to pray for, I don’t know how, but they know. They indeed prayed that the Lord would bless my womb. I had come to terms with not becoming a mother at that point, but I was still grateful for that prayer. I found out just a couple of weeks after that conference, that my prayers had already been answered. I sat at last year's conference unknowingly being a mom as I was pregnant with our daughter. 

When it was time for our daughter's birth, I had to be induced and I was scared, anxious, and nervous. I was to be induced on a Sunday evening. We attended church that morning and the Lord spoke to me and gave me peace as the message was in Isaiah 41:10 (NIV) “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” This scripture gave me such peace going into the hospital, I had written it down and taped it to the table so anytime I needed encouragement I would just glance over and read it. 

To bring this to a close, I wanted to share one last thing…

We had gone camping and were on our way home, as I sat in the car I was being attacked by the enemy. The enemy was filling my head telling me, “You are not good enough to share about your testimony, it’s not going to make sense, you are going to cry, you are worthless, and you are not good enough.” I actually pulled my phone out to text M.J., who is the wife of my pastor, that I wasn’t going to be able to share my testimony - until I looked out of the window at just the right moment, and on a sign driving down the highway was the scripture Isaiah 41:10. 

These two stories of my life that I have shared with you have been my chaos and in those trying times I never lost hope in the Lord. So many times, in the midst of chaos I have tried to push God away but always come back. Once that fire in your heart starts, it never seems to fade.