1 Peter 3:15, New International Version

“…Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have…”

My name is Morgan Lively and at the time I am writing this I am nineteen years old. I am a student studying nursing at Youngstown State University. Sitting down to write this has been one of the hardest things I have done. I have been in deep meditation with the Lord asking Him to help me find the words. I have been stuck in a space of wanting to sound super knowledgeable and complex, but the Lord reminds me that I am only nineteen.

Growing up from the ages of like five to eleven were okay from my reconnection. From what I can remember these were really the only ‘good’ years growing up. I did well in school, I was in every sport you could put a lead in, and my family was whole.

When I was twelve, it is when my whole world turned upside down. My dad had been cheating on my mom with my best friend’s mom. Now as a twelve-year-old I don’t really understand what was going on. All I can remember from the time was the heartbreak of my mom’s face and my dad leaving. I think the trauma blocked a lot of things out after this event because it’s very hard to remember everything that happened after that.

I didn’t see my dad or talk to him for months. Twelve years old Morgan hated him for ripping apart our family and most of all hurting my mom. Three months after this my mom got a boyfriend and he started living with us, him and his two daughters. It was really hard to deal with because I didn’t want to live with these strangers. No matter how much I thought I hated my dad, I just wanted my family back. I think my mom was with her boyfriend for around three or four years. He was very controlling and mentally and verbally abusive towards me, my mom, and my brother. At this point, he and my mom had bought a house together and he had kicked us out. I was a sophomore in high school. After this I watched my hurting mother spiral. I also cannot remember a ton from this point of my life either. One thing I have not been able to forget from this time was seeing my mom’s mugshot. I cannot even describe the heartache I felt after seeing that. 

My junior year of high school and got through my first year of college all while being in a very toxic and mentally abusive long-distance relationship. He ended up cheating on me and after a life filled with zero healthy relationship influences I went back. This caused me to spiral again. I had no sense of self respect, and I absolutely felt so alone because he had pulled me away from my family and friends. This was a recurring event until September 10^th, 2025. I was scrolling one TikTok and a video popped up of Charlie Kirks assassination like the entire thing. I was horrified. There is still no word that comes to mind other than pure evil. This was when the Lord touched my heart.

I had spent my whole childhood looking at evil and thinking it was normal. I have found my Savior. I have realized that He was there through everything I went through when I was younger. All the pain and heartache. I was just literally facing the opposite direction. There are things I am still wondering on. God has revealed so much to me over these past few months. It has been hard not to feel behind yet He always reminds me that I will always be His beautiful creation, and that I am only nineteen.