Ephesians 4:31-32, English Living Standard

“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

Married to a Backslider

I married Mike, mu husband, at the age of thirty-one. I had never been married. A Christian for just two years, I was “on fire” for Jesus. I prayed to God that He would bring me a husband of his choosing.

I met Mike at a church in Southern California. He told me all about his up-and-down past (very wild and crazy) and sad.

After we were married for three years Mike had a ministry position in a large, wonderful church in Alaska. He committed adultery and ran away. I made the decision to forgive him.

I was betrayed, humiliated, and ashamed. The pain was devastating. I felt all alone. As a result, I drew closer to God. I prayed and fasted. I gave thanks for everything. I sang praises in the middle of my storm. I looked beyond the faults of my husband and saw his need.

I tried to see my husband as God saw him. As a young Christian, I felt God loved him and wanted me to love him, too.

Several years passed and it didn’t get better, it got worse. He progressed in his drinking and became an alcoholic. He smoked “crack” and shot heroin with prostitutes. He deserted me many times as he ran from God. I always took him back and God always took him back. I would hold him and cover him with my love. He needed me. I was his wife and made a serious wedding vow before God to stay with him, even in bad times. Mike continued to run, and I followed him across the country. It got worse!

It was a dark time in my life. In my weakest moments, God always gave me the grace to endure one more day. I continued to pray for my husband.

In July of 1988, Mike quit drinking, smoking, and doing drugs. He hasn’t done any for over thirty-six years and he’s been faithful to me.

He was sorry for hurting God. He was sorry for hurting me. God forgave him and so did I. We embraced him and spoke hope into his heart. Our words, understanding, and tenderness were healing to his broken soul.

As Mike’s recovery began, I realized that I needed restoration too. Who was going to help me, I wondered?

Most church people were unwilling or not prepared to reach out because of my husband’s radical background. It takes courage and faith to attempt to restore fallen saints. My husband was looked upon as a leper or worse by many Christians. God allowed me to go through a different kind of wilderness. The long journey of trying to find a local church that would accept us began to take its toll on me. My eyes were opened to the overall weakness of most churches to reach out with meekness and understanding of God’s prodigal children. We were held at arms distance time after time.

The pain was equal to the aloneness I felt when my husband was drinking and doing drugs.

Like Moses, Mike and I have been prepared in the wilderness. The vision is now unfolding. God is the Potter; we are the clay! Whatever He wants, that’s what we want.

From the ashes of our lives, God restored our first love for Him and for each other. Our ministry is to broken Christians, especially those who are willing to admit they need love and recovery.

Our recovery will continue until Jesus comes. My husband knows what his purpose is. My purpose has not changed: 1. Love God first! 2. Love and support my husband! 3. Love everybody else!

Some Christian women have belittled me for standing by my husband and forgiving him. I understand their feelings. But should I not forgive my husband since Jesus has always forgiven me?