Philippians 3:12-14, New Living translation

“I don’t mean to say that I have achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead. I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.”

I am fairly new to the church and to accepting Christ into my life. For a long time, I rebelled against the thought of letting Christ in.

In 2021, I lost my 15-year-old brother. I spent a lot of time after that mad at God, questioning Him and not understanding how He could do that—how He could take my brother away from me.

In 2022, I got pregnant with my first daughter. When I was six months pregnant, her father and I went riding. We went on a rocky trail, lost control of the quad, and ended up sliding down a hill and flipping it over. I don’t remember a lot, but what I do remember is everything going black. Then I saw my brother sitting next to me, telling me that my little girl and I would be okay—that we were going to make it through and everything would be alright.

That’s when I opened my eyes and saw my daughter’s father sitting there, screaming, crying, and trying to wake me up. At the time, I didn’t understand what had just happened.

A couple of years later, I got pregnant with my second daughter. At just 12 weeks, I was told I would be a high-risk pregnancy and would need to see the doctor once a week. I remember begging and praying to a God I didn’t even know if I truly believed in. I prayed that if there was a God, He would help me carry my daughter to full term and that she would be healthy—that He would heal my liver enough for us to be okay.

During that pregnancy, my daughter’s father and I started to grow apart. After I had my daughter, I realized I needed to separate from him. My kids deserved a happy and healthy mom. Leaving their father was one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced.

After I made that decision, I crossed paths with a friend from school. At the time, I didn’t realize the role he would play in my life. As I spent more time with him, I felt this pull in my chest. I ignored it because I didn’t understand it. But as I spent more time with him, I also spent more time with his mom.

It wasn’t until she asked me if I would like to attend church with them that I started to realize maybe that was what I needed to heal. I took some time to really think about attending and what it truly meant, because I would be walking into church not fully believing. In my heart, I was still mad at God for taking my brother. But I couldn’t find a good enough reason to stay home—especially with the pull I was feeling inside.

It wasn’t until I attended my first Saturday night service that I truly understood what that pull was. It felt as if Christ Himself was drawing me to Him. After that very first service, I felt awakened. Before I left that night, Connie asked if I was coming to Sunday service the next day. Without hesitation, I said yes.

I had no idea what I was walking into, but in one weekend my eyes were opened and my life was changed. I finally saw all the signs—all the moments God was there when I was blind to Him.

It was in that moment that everything made sense. I understood what happened during the accident back in 2022. I had been face down on a huge rock—I should have lost my baby, but I didn’t. My brother was there in a vision telling me we would be okay. It was God showing me that He was watching over me.

After my eyes were opened, I could understand why I needed to cross paths with Connie and Josiah again. God knew I needed that invitation. He knew I wasn’t going to walk in alone. That one invitation, that one night, changed my whole life.

I have now been going to church for almost 10 months, and I have surrendered my life to Him. I have been baptized. I have been awakened in His name. I am a daughter of the King, and I am free.