“Weep with those who weep”, this is my prayer. I prayed to God to help me to cry and to laugh by feeling His heart, and also so I could be true to my own. One of the reasons I had this prayer was because I lived too long in a life filled with lies and I learned how to react according to the circumstances around me. The real feelings I had inside me were locked up over the course of decades. In the 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 (NIV), Paul wrote, “If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.” I realized that even if I acted perfectly, if there was no love, then no matter what I did it meant nothing. 

“Weep with those who weep”, if I do something because it is what the situation calls for or it seems right, or I try to comfort those who are weeping by pleasing them, but I do not have love for them is that truly loving them? If I do this then I do not truly understand and deeply care for their hurt and if this is the case then whatever I do means nothing. What may be worse is that, I may simply be a hypocrite.

From a childhood friend to my favorite celebrities, I have lost people I cared about many times. When it happened, death to simply meant they were out of my life. I may have felt sad, but the feeling was gone soon. But, I was 31 years old, I lost the most important person, my mother who I loved with my life. I fell into a trap, a “pity pit”. I was confused about what was happening, and the shock, the pain, and the guilt because I felt that I had failed her. I was lost and depressed. Death to me had a different meaning, it meant I could no longer see them, or hear them, or hold their hand.

What did I do? I hid. I rejected to deal with anyone or anything. My focus was only on how I felt. I began to do whatever I wanted to in order to try to reduce my emptiness. This continued until I finally began to understood the heart of my mother and learned that the only way to offer my love for her was to live the life she had always dreamed for me – to live in peace and joy and to have good health. I believed I got it, I thought I had found the way to move forward. I tried to make it happen by my will power, but again I failed. Not because I had the wrong understanding, but because I picked the wrong way to do it. The bitterness, the sadness, the disappointment, the hurt, the painful memories continued working through my mind, especially the guilty that held on to. I went to her grave every other day alone, I cried and I told her how I missed her, I asked for her forgiveness. I thought about how she would be separated from me forever and that she may be lost somewhere alone.…and because of these thoughts I could never live a single day in the way that she had wanted me to.

Three years later, true understanding finally came to me. On the day I came to know Christ, His truth became my freedom. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16, NIV) Death of our body could be a new life of our soul. There are only two places that we can spend eternity, heaven or hell. Through Jesus, a new hope began to rise in me, as well as a new understanding of death and life. Through Jesus, I was also convicted about how self-focused I was, and I realized how many lies I believed in. I discovered that I do not have the right to decide when someone should live or die. I also realized that I am not qualified to judge myself or other. I came to understand that within myself I do not have the power to offer love, nor do I understand how to receive it. This is because when I did not have Christ and His Word the truth was not within me. Jesus is the truth, the way, and the light. God is love. If I desire to live in peace and joy and to have good health both physically and emotionally, I need Jesus. I need His truth to set me free from the blind fold I had on and I need His love so I can love and beloved (1 John 4:19)

I love my mother, and I want to see her again. I placed my hope in Jesus through prayer. I know He knows my mother, I know He loves her, and I knows He is the only One who can have access to my mother’s heart. Who could know the last moment of my mother but Jesus, including her choice to believe in Him or not.

Then I believe Jesus saved my mother, and she is not wondering around alone but she is in heaven. Jesus is with her. She is waiting there for me to meet her again one day.

I believe my mother is now being loved and that Jesus has already wiped away every tear from her eyes. She is in a place where there is no more death or mourning or crying or pain. Her past is gone, and she is rejoicing in her new life. Because of this, I also realized that all of the emotion I had carried about her death should be let go as well.

Jesus loves her and Jesus also loves me. If I live my life based on the love I have for Him does that not also mean that I am truly loving my mother as well? I should live in joy, peace, and hope and in His love and in His truth. I should love the Lord my God with all I am, and love others as myself. One day, I will be with her, and with my Lord.

“Weep with those who weep”, I learned the best way to do this by experiencing the dark valley myself. If we are to stand with those who weep we must open up our heart and love them as our self. When love is there, the love of Jesus will be with us, and His love will speak, also His truth will set them free.

For those who weep, remember no matter how you feel when you lose your loved one, God promises us many things….

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18, NIV)

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4, NIV)

‘Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:35-29, NIV)

He has also promised many things for those who know Him….

“In a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed.” (1 Corinthians 15:52, NIV)

“Those who walk uprightly enter into peace; they find rest as they lie in death.” (Isaiah 57:2, NIV)

“Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.” (1 Thessalonians 4:13-14, NIV)

‘“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.’ (John 14:1-3, NIV)

I told my husband if one day I gone (As God told us I will be pass before him), and my children they need to have faith and hold up what I believe, that where I go is the best for my life. So there shouldn’t have funeral, instead a celebrating party. Let’s dance and sing, not for me nor for the memories about me, it’s all about Jesus. To give praises for His unfailing love and promises. The right word they should hear will be congratulations, not condolence, because for I can see Jesus face to face. (1 Corinthians 13:12)

“But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.” (Philippians 3:20-21, NIV)