Ephesians 4:26-27, New Living Translation

“And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.”

Human emotion can be very complex and what seems to be very simple on the surface, often turns out to be much deeper. As a man, I have often believed that once I understand the cause of an emotion and realized what led to it, and how to prevent it in the future, then that meant that the emotion had been dealt with. However, I recently learned that just because you know what had caused an emotional reaction and you knew how to prevent a similar reaction in the future, does not mean that you have dealt with the emotion and worked through it.

I have traditionally been a burier when it comes to my emotions. When negative things happened, which caused me to have emotion, I was the kind of person who would just say, “Its ok” and move on. No matter if the situation hurt my feelings or caused anger, or even if it was something that happened to a loved one, I tended to bury the emotion and pretend that nothing had truly happened. In the past several years the Lord has been teaching me that when things like this happen, they must be addressed and talked about. This does not mean that we are to burst out with emotion and allow our emotions to control our actions and behaviors but instead, it requires that we admit that we do have emotion and that we begin to allow ourselves to feel those emotions. We must maintain control of ourselves when we do this, and it is vital that we talk about them.

My wife and I have often had situations in which old hurts and wounds were opened up because of something that, on the surface, seemed to be rather insignificant. But when this has happened, it has provided an opportunity for us to begin to talk about what happened in our past, how we felt as a result, and ultimately, to allow the process of truly healing to take place. In order to allow this to happen, one of the most important parts is to trust in the Lord and in His perfect timing. Do not try to force these things to happen as we have found that when we try to force the conversation, we are simply not ready to deal with the emotions. But, when we wait upon the Lord, we find that He has a way or orchestrating the perfect circumstances to prepare us to talk about these emotions and He opens the door just at the right time.

I would encourage you today, when seemingly negative things happen in your life, to not allow yourself to bury the emotions that you feel. When you start to feel these negative emotions, seek the Lord first and seek His help and His healing. When He opens doors for you to talk to someone or express these emotions, go forward and allow yourself to feel them. He is good and faithful and, though He knows every single thought and emotion that we have, He loves us still.