I haven’t meet another parent who thinks they are slaying it all: housework, family life, friendships, marriage, or the day-to-day grind. I think highly of and admire all of my mom friends because they balance so much and appear to do it all really well. Then I hear them talk about their insecurities or where they feel like they are falling short, and I am reminded that we are all in this together.

All of my friends with children parent differently, and it’s something that I really appreciate. Using a few of today’s buzzwords, I have some who are gentle, some who are authoritative, and some who are passive, but most float between the three. You can find arguments on why each one is the best, but to be honest, I don’t think there’s a “one style fits all.” Each child is uniquely designed in his or her own way (Psalm 139:13).

What I do know is that I am not a perfect mother. I have good and bad days. Some days I am productive and others lazy or tired I should say. I have lots of connection and play days, and some days feel like a tornado blew through our 24-hours, and I missed it all. A lot of it merely depends on my mood, my sleep or lack thereof, and my connection or lack of with God and other adults. From what I can see, I am the emotional thermostat of our home. Truthfully, you probably are too. Sometimes, a lot of times, that is a heavy responsibility.

Wherever we fall on the parenting spectrum, here’s my parenting mission: I want to parent with intention and grace. I am not a perfect person, and I don’t have all the answers. My children may not see that now, but they will come to see that on their own one day. When they discover it, I hope they offer the grace of Jesus in return, because that is the best grace. It’s grace that saves and redeems every failure.

We all have good and bad days, including them. Just like me, they are imperfect people, and they will walk through life with other imperfect people. I want them to know that Jesus has every one of those imperfections covered, and I want to intentionally model that we love each other and everyone through those imperfections, because of Jesus.

So, on the days when I am short and snippy, I apologize, and I ask Jesus in front of them for His grace that covers it. On the days when I say the wrong thing, I apologize and tell them we all say the wrong thing sometimes, but Jesus has it. On the days when I am gentle and passive, I offer my thanks that Jesus has it all. On the days when I lose my cool, He’s got it, and I pray in front of my kids for grace and strength. On the days when I am sad and my kids notice, I tell them that He’s right there with me in my sadness. I want them to know, remember, and see from their little eyes that He’s with us every day, in every moment. He can handle us. If they take anything from me, I hope it is that.

We can read a million things about being a perfect parent, but no one really knows how one child will turn out from the next. It’s oversaturated. But Jesus isn’t. He was there at the formation of the world and upon our creation. He was there in the first heartbeat of each one of our babies and in their first breath and cry. He was there with their first steps, and He’s there with them now. And you know what? He will continue to be there in the good and bad decisions they make and in the beautiful and messy spots of life. He’s walking with them, with us, at our happiest and saddest of times. As parents, we may not get everything right in this game of raising children, but I hope my babies know enough of Jesus to know a little grace goes a long way.