“Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” (Amos 3:3, KJV)

How many families do you know where there’s dad’s rules, and then there’s mom’s rules? Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s very uncommon, and I believe it is one of the number one killer in marriages and family today. I was surprised to learn recently from a friend whose kids are grown and that this subject was still a major point of contention in her marriage and family. 

Remember when the pharisees claimed that Jesus was casting out devils by being a devil himself? What was his reply? “Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every city or house divided against itself shall not stand.” (Matthew 12:25, KJV) When we are not united with our spouse on decisions in our home, especially in regard to our children, it is guaranteed to bring us to ruin.

If this resonates with you, then it is time to have some hard conversations with your spouse. Consider which topics you disagree with the most. Try thinking of ways to negotiate before starting that conversation and be ready to listen to their reasoning.

God provides the family with both a mother and father for a reason— each one brings different perspectives and strengths to the family as a whole. Don’t allow pride to deceive you into thinking your way is the only way and the very best way for the family to operate under. 

After establishing a standard for your family to go by, be very intentional about honoring it. What you have established will only be effective if you stick to it. New issues will certainly come up as you continue to grow and develop as a family. Be sure to take the time to discuss how both of you feel you should move forward. Sometimes a rule or standard you established in the past will need to be adjusted to meet new needs and lifestyle changes, that’s ok—just be sure you both agree and you are not going against your spouse before discussing the change. 

The wisdom here is simple - be united as a couple in everything you decide to do, and it will go well with you. Establish standards for your household together, whether it’s in regard to finances, or entertainment, or discipline, or video games. Take the time to discuss these matters now and agree, or it may cost you a healthy marriage and family down the road.