I am the kind of person who enjoys a good show, whether it is a detective show or superhero movie, a fairytale story, or a hallmark love story. However, I do not just take it as entertainment. I seek to view it through reality – a lens to a life lesson. I also seek to understand it spiritually – through the lens of God.

I have experienced a failed marriage. I have also witnessed different friends of mine and heard a lot from others talk about a failed relationship. Sometimes (quite often), the issue simply comes from an improper expectation – unrealistic or “fancy” expectations. Where do those expectations come from? Books, movies, TV shows… even posts from social media could create thoughts. Thoughts without fact (the truth) can become a fake image of satisfaction. What this really creates is a consuming mind that craves a false reality, a perfect person who does not exist, and this creates disappointment toward life. What is worse is that as we dig a hole that could not be fulfilled, we create an opportunity for deception (the deceiver) to sneak in. What can happen then? Disapproval, discontent, dissatisfaction begins within every small thing in a household and the same two people… the things that didn’t matter in the past are now suddenly a big deal. The pity mirror is always focused on themself, but the magnifying glass of wrong is always pointed toward their spouse. Have I been there with unrealistic expectations? Yes, I have. I also learned, so now I can share with you what I learned – communication, with God and with your life-partner.

Seeking and living in the truth brings us to a place where we recognize the lie - the deception that is from the enemy through voices and temptation of this world. Inviting Jesus, who is the Truth, into your mind and walking out with trust will always be the way. Paul said, “And do not be conformed to this world [any longer with its superficial values and customs], but be transformed and progressively changed [as you mature spiritually] by the renewing of your mind [focusing on godly values and ethical attitudes], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His plan and purpose for you].” (Romans 12:2, Amplified Bible)

Encourage your spouse to walk with you in this journey with Jesus. Seek to learn and grow and be mature together. Examine and test what is truth and right and be willing to correct and turn away from whatever and whoever could tangle your walk with Truth. Humbly follow the wisdom that is from God, “…Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” (Philippians 4:8, NLT)

“The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.” (John 10:10, NLT) Don’t let the thief ruin the beautiful covenant that you made with God and with your spouse. Instead, prepare yourself to live in the fullness of life.