Here is a question I have asked myself, “Do I love my husband as I should?” First, I need to fully understand what it means to love him in the right way? The love between a husband and wife should contain romantic attraction and strong feelings towards each other. And if they are both Christian and know the true definition of love between Christ and His church, then they would know that love means sacrifice and giving without expecting anything in return. They will know that their love for each other will not end when death parts them, but will be everlasting​.

Regardless of how I define the love between a husband and wife I still find myself asking that question over and over again, especially on those days when I may not feel that deep physical attraction or any romance for my husband that I once did. I have never been a romantic type person (which has created some bumps in the road as my husband is – he told me he was a hopeless romantic when we were first dating). Does that mean I have failed as his wife? Or does it mean that I am no longer in love with him? Wait a minute! I love to have him around me, I love to work together with him, he is my best friend. I also love to serve him by taking care his needs, considering how he may feel, even protecting him from any possibilities harm (including from our own kids who sometimes try to take advantage of his gentleness). He is the head of our home and I respect him in that role. If he shows extra care or pays attention to any other person or situation more than me (except Jesus of course), I feel jealous. I honor and love him alone as my husband. And If I desire him to love me and care for me and pay extra attention to me, does that mean I want or expect something in return? I would, and I do, lay down my desires and needs and consider his before mine. Does this prove that I love him the way that a wife should love their husband?

Let’s pause right here…what is that article about? Is this about different love languages?  Is it about a wife expressing her love for her husband? Or, about how a couple can love each other with the same love that exists between Christ and His church? The answer actually simple, as a wife I just wanted to share with you some of thoughts I have had from time to time. Do you ever think like I have? Do you also question if the love you have for your husband is good or enough? Is it possible that the thoughts that you have about your marriage reflect in some way the status of the love in your marriage? Maybe you are constantly counting and measuring who loves more or who offers more?

My dear friends, no matter what your feeling may be or what thoughts you have, now is the time to take those thoughts captive. Take heed and understand that we are all human being, we will sometimes feel tired, weak, frustrated, in need, and we may find ourselves in situations in which we have no control. Do not let those random thoughts mislead you and cause you to stray away from the truth of God. What is the truth of God in this matter – the love between husband and wife should be like that between Christ and His church. Christ instructed His church “…As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” (John 13:34, NIV) Will you offer yourself to love your spouse as Christ loves you, with passion and forever?