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Maintaining Relationship, Not Cooperation

Christopher Brock

April 21, 2021

If there is one thing that has been often said about my wife and I is that we are doers. When there is something that needs to be done or when we have committed to do something, we are going to do it to the best of our ability as soon as we can. While I believe that the Lord has blessed us with that passion to work, and my wife has been blessed with a skill to organize our activities, it means that we often have many things to do and work on at a time. For us, it also means that we work together is virtually everything that we do. In fact, probably nine out of ten days we never even leave each other’s side as we work and labor together. With all of that time together many people believe that we must always have a great relationship and always be in communication with each. We must truly know each other so well.

However, what we have come to understand is that we can be beside each other all day long, working, talking, discussing, planning, and yet if we are not careful, at the end of the day we can look at each other and realize we never had one single moment when we were truly together. We never had moment when we shared our feelings and what was going on in our hearts. We never got to share the things that made of feel sad, or hurt, or happy. We cooperated and worked together all day and accomplished so much for the Kingdom of the Lord, but we failed to seek the true spiritual, emotion, and physical intimacy that the Lord designed marriage to be built upon.

How can a couple combat this potential situation in their marriage? What we have found is that when we are ensuring that we are seeking the Lord together, the intimacy in our relationship always increases. Everyday we set aside a time to read the Word of God together and to pray and discuss it, no matter how many things may be on the task list. We also have a specific devotional that we read together each night before spending an additional time of prayer together before bed. These activities together are in additional to our individual reading, prayer, and meditation times each day.

In additional to these times that we spend together each day we also take time to rest and relax together whenever possible. For us, this means that we watch movies and TV shows. This has been something that we have enjoyed throughout our entire relationship and it is a time in which we can truly relax together and just enjoy each other’s company.

A final thought to consider is that, in the same way that we can lose the intimacy in our marriage, we can also lose the intimacy we have with the Lord. We can easily become so focused on the work around us and the things that He has called us to do, that we forget that the things He desires most from us is simply to love Him and spend time with Him. What is even more wonderful is that when we seek the Lord more in our own lives, it will also have an impact upon the intimacy that we have with our spouse as well. As a husband and wife draw closer to the Lord, they will also be drawn closer together. ​

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