The moment I found Christ (the right way to say that should be that He found me), He healed me both physically and emotionally. I fell crazily in love with Him and desired to know Him more than anything – including my own life. I opened a Bible and studying it word by word. I rented all the movies which I thought may help me to know Him more. ​

Every single second, I sought His presence, His will, and I just wanted Him. I wanted Him to take my hand and walk with me, in a garden or along a noisy road, and He did. One song says “How wide, how deep, and how great is His love for me”, I want His wide, deep, and great love, and I am willing to lay myself down for this love. (Amazed, by Phillips, Craig and Dean)

One day, I was reading Romans 7 which says, “For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law that binds her to him.” (V2, NIV) I looked up and prayed, “Lord Jesus, I do not need to remarry, having You is enough for me.” At that time, I did not understand that this verse was referring to those who were in a marriage relationship, not for those who had been divorced. Yet, the Lord responded to my question, “I forgive you as you did not know Me when you were married and divorced. You did not make a vow before Me, nor did I approved of this past marriage. For I have a man I created for you the moment I created you in my mind, and when the right time comes, I will bring him to you.” I did not take the word of my Lord lightly. My heart was grateful, and filled with joy that I had been forgiven and God’s was working to restore His original plan for me. After a moment I responded to the Lord and said, “Jesus, I do not want a man who loves me more than he loves You.”

I did not hear any response back from the Lord and never did in regard to this response. Even so, I can trust Him. I trust His love for me. I trust in His word! Not only will a man who loves Jesus know how to love me, but he will also love me like Jesus loves me. But most importantly, I desire as husband and wife to love Jesus in widen, deeper, and greater way together.

Six years later, God kept His word faithfully and bought this man into my life. He not only knows about Jesus, He knows Him and He loves Him. He follows and obeys Him. He is a man who carries the gentleness of Christ Jesus and is willing to hold my hand and jump off a cliff or walk into the desert in order to receive the love of Jesus. We are moving forward towards the same destination and are never jealous even though we each love Someone else more than we love each other. Thank you Lord for hearing and responding to my desire!