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Harmony in The Family

Christopher Brock

August 21, 2020

Proverbs 21:9,19 NLT

“It’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic then with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home.”

“It is better to live alone in the desert than with a quarrelsome and complaining wife.”

What do most people think about when they think about a family? I believe that the truth is that for many people all across the world, that picture may be quite different. For me, I believe that the picture of a family is a group of people, who may be biologically or legally related or not, living their lives together and loving each other just as Christ loves them. The relationships are peaceful and the focus of each person is not upon their own happiness, but upon the happiness of those around them.

That picture sounds like a wonderful place to be, but does it truly reflect the environment that we see is many families and homes today? Sadly, the truth is that so many homes and families are filled with stress, anger, sadness, and loneliness. Living in that kind of situation and in a family or relationship like that is difficult. Sometimes it can feel as though there is no escape and nothing can ever change. Consider the scripture for today, lets take a moment to think about these in context.


At the time that these proverbs were written people lived in houses which did not have the roofs that we often think of today. The roofs would have been a flat surface that a person could walk on, and often they were used as extra living space. The main issue however was that in the heat of the day and the cold of night there would have been no protection from the elements. It would often be difficult to stay there. Verse 9 however tells us that I would be better to live, meaning to spend of all your time, on that roof in the corner, then to live with an arguing spouse. It would literally be better to live in a place where you would constantly be hot or old and exposed to all the elements of nature than to live in a lovely home in a bad relationship.

Think about that statement for a moment. Consider the homes and families we so often see as we go about our day. Many times, those homes and the people who live in them look very nice. You can tell that the owners work to try to make the homes look nice and they try to act as though the people in the family all get along and love each other unconditionally. But, how often have you found that once you get to know the truth, you find out that the relationships and the people in the homes do not reflect the beautiful image that is presented on the outside?

Matthew 7:24-27, NLT

24 “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. 25 Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. 26 But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. 27 When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.” 

I believe that so much of what we see in the families and homes in our modern times reflect the consequences that are laid out in this verse from Matthew. We are seeing fewer and fewer families who are building their lives, their homes, and their relationships upon the rock of Jesus Christ. What happens when people do this? It is clearly laid out, when the trials and difficult times come then there is no foundation for them to stand on. As a result, the beautiful image that they have built and worked to maintain comes crashing down. And the truth is that, even before it crashes down, the people who are living in the environment are not truly happy.

So, what are we to do? How can we avoid these circumstances? I believe that there are really two steps we should take….

  1. Seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit, and then do what He tells us to do.


This means that even before we make decision, we should be asking the Lord to show us the way. That includes who to marry and when. Where we should live, where we should go to church, and where we should work.

    2. As we go through life, we should always seek to make Christ the foundation. 

Once we begin to do the things that the Lord has shown us to do, we must continue to seek Him and build upon Him. We must always point back to Him as the Provider of all that we have.

If you are reading this today and think that it would be better to live in the corner of your attic than to live in your home with your family then you need to hear this, the Lord can make a way where there is no way and He can do greater things that you can possible image. Come back to Him and seek His plan for your family and your home and the Holy Spirit will lead you and guide you in the right way.

If you are reading this and you understand what it means to build a house upon the foundation of the Lord and you have been working towards that, then hear this, do not grow weary in what you are doing. Continue to work towards the things that God has shown you. Continue to invite the Lord into your home, into the relationship you have with your spouse and into the lives of your children. He will continue to lead you and guide you.

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