What do you expect when you say yes to marry a person you love? To enjoy life together? To build a family? To have someone committed to be here so that you will never be alone? And, if you know and believe in the Word of God, you may also understand that a marriage is a reflection of the love between Christ and His church. 

So then, you will expect that your marriage is for the glory of God, a perfect match to fulfill God’s purpose in life, as well as an act of obedience to His command – to multiply. However, even when we have a right and good expectations, sometimes it still leads to a sad end. Why? Have you ever made a New Year plan and recognized it did not work out the way you planned? No matter how good and perfect a plan may be, if it goes without work, effort, and a clear vision, people along with the plan will run wild. (Proverbs 28:18)

What’s the work and effort for? What’s the difference between expectation and vision? Let’s take a walk through a parable of Jesus:

“A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.” (Matthew 13:3-8, NIV)

Jesus used this parable to help His people understand that if they hear the Word and do not work on it and make effort towards it, then just as with the plants there will be no growth. This is the same understanding we should apply in a marriage relationship as well. We should work to learn the Word, just as a church learns about Christ. And in the process, we must never stop practicing it. When we do this and we never stop leaning upon Him, we will be like the house built on solid rock. (Matthew 7:24-27) Therefore, we cannot just simply expect that things will go well, that your spouse should know or understand, or that they will change to meet our needs. Rather, we need to seek, to grow, and to offer our self without counting or expecting a return.  An expectation is a belief that someone will or should achieve something. Vision is an ability to think about or plan the future with imagination or wisdom.

What is your vision of marriage? And, are you willing to put in the work and effort for it? For me, my vision is “growing old together and being one for eternity”!