Over the past several years I have been blessed to be able to walk with different couples who are facing challenges in their marriage. Some separated, some were restored, and others are still working through their struggles. Even as a friend or as a mentor to them, it is not an easy thing to walk with them during those days. ​

At night, I think about those who have shared their hurt with me. During the day, my mind is filled up with thoughts of “how about that” or “what if this”? Every time this happens, I must go through a process to allow my soul to meet Jesus and give all my thoughts to Him so I can find peace.

A few days ago in the early morning, I opened my eyes and one couple who were going through a situation came to my mind. I remembered how they had shared with me that they believed their marriage is united by God Himself. They had prayed and received confirmation after confirmation that they are one of a God’s perfect matches. I heard their testimony and shared in their excitement. While all these thoughts were running through my mind, a question came, what does “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Mark 10:9) actually mean? Could it simply mean that those who God put together, just as Adam and Eve, can never truly be separated? Could it mean that no one should try to separate those who are under God’s will to become husband and wife?

This morning, the Holy Spirit reminded me about the question I had concerning Mark 10:9. I sat down and was ready to receive understanding from the Lord during my study time. Jesus had given this answer in response to a question from the Pharisees about divorce. I read through Matthew, Mark, and Luke as each of these books records this conversation. Here is the understanding that I was given:

The marriage relationship is originated by God, He created them male and female for a purpose to multiply and create life. (v4) They are helpers for each other, and life partners in their walk here on earth. (v5) They are no longer two, but one, just like Christ and His church. Whether they are believers or non-believers, they are still part of a design that is derived by God. Because of that, no one should take lightly of a decision to separate. (v6) However, the Lord knows the heart of men, and He gave instruction to mankind during the time of Moses. He clearly mentioned that divorce was not a part of His purpose for marriage in the beginning. (v8 – 11)

My dear friends, I have been there, in a broken marriage, and spent a season being a single mother. No matter what the reason, the decision to separate should not be taken easy. I understand the hurt it may cause, the hardship it may bring, and the feelings of hopelessness that can result. We should take it with sincerity. But we should not only take the decision to separate sincerely, but also the decision to get married, and the process of building our day-to-day relationship with our husband or wife. The process of building a relationship does not come easy. It requires strength, wisdom, knowledge, endurance, and learning through the ups and the downs. Invite the Lord to join you in this process so that you may find joy everlasting.