Have you ever heard the term “Balloon Effect”?  I am not talking about the drug policy in United States, instead, a safe guard about relationships. Here we are applying it in the marriage relationship. Most counselors will simply say it is “bad communication” between a husband and a wife. ​

What do we do with a balloon? In a basic way, we fill it with air. How much air you fill it with depends on the way you want to use it, and unless you stop filling the balloon with air, eventually it will pop. What if we apply this “Balloon Effect” in a relationship? When a person continuously fills THINGS into other person’s mind, and that person never lets those THINGS go, one day, they will also pop. Again, most counselors will tell you that this is “a bad communication” and may even call it a “lack of communication”.

Up to this point, could it be one person’s fault? Hear what James mentions, “You do not have because you do not ask God.” (James 4:2) Let me be clear, I am not talking about extreme situations, such as a person being captive or a child who is being abused by a parent. I am applying this in a marriage relationship, between two grownups, who can think and act for themselves. A lack of communication may sometimes happen when one person is neglecting the needs of other, or ignoring the signs of their need. Rather than saying something, we ignore our thoughts and our feeling and ultimately the need itself. What are the needs that a husband and wife can have? So often the focus is placed on the physical needs of the relationship, but little attention on the EMOTIONAL NEEDS. These could be the need for love - the need to be cared for, being considered, being understood, or being accepted. In addition to a person not recognizing the needs of the other, it can also be the other way around, the person with the need does not speak up and tell the other about it. When THINGS like that accumulate for a certain period, just like a balloon that person reaches a point when they can no longer hold anymore. Then, POP, all the THINGS are come blasting out at once. The balloon cannot be fixed, and the relationship has reached a place brokenness.

Is it possible to mend a broken marriage? I believe the word of God says, “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18, NIV) God sees two broken hearts and two crushed spirits. He cares about them, He seeks to be close to them, and He aim to saves them. The only question left to answer is this, “Are they both seeking Jesus’s ways?” No one can be truly reconciled to one another until they are first reconciled to God. (Ephesians 2:14)

My dear friends, my best advice for you is to invite Jesus into your marriage and obey His word as you go through the process of building your marriage. You must always remember that marriage is not for your fulfillment or to make your life complete, it is a journey of love for the glory of God.  ​