Proverbs 18:13, ESV

“If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.”

It would seem to be obvious that communication is important in any relationship. Whenever people interact with each other, it is only through communication that they can truly get to know each other and understand each other. In no relationship is communication more important than in the relationship between husband and wife.

When we talk about a relationship with a husband and wife, we may assume that by virtue of the relationship that they are in, they must communicate well. After all, it doesn’t seem very logical to marry someone if you don’t communicate well with them. But so often in the marriage relationship, communication is taken for granted. There may be thoughts like this, “This is my wife, she knows what I like and what I want”. Or “This is my husband, I am sure he knows how I like to have things done”. But the reality is that, very often when we start to make those assumptions, we are starting to create a gap in communication in our marriage. Once that pattern starts, it can be difficult to stop. You can start to begin to feel uncared for or even ignored.

Recently, my wife and I have had an area in our relationship in which we are facing some struggles. For quite sometime, I had failed to truly communicate my feelings about the situation with her. There was no doubt that it was creating some distance between us. One night after we had read our devotional together and prayed, we found ourselves lying awake in frustration. At that moment we began to talk with each other, expressing the way that we truly felt. I began to truly see that we had not taken time to sincerely talk about the situation and what was happening. For me, I continually made assumptions that she knew how I felt. But the reality is, neither of us can truly know how the other one feels until we are honest with each and share. Sometimes taking that step to truly open yourself up to each other can be difficult. But when you do, walls break down, and it opens the door to draw closer with each other.

The other side of communication does not come from speaking, but in the form of listening. Have you ever found yourself talking with someone and rather than listening to them with the desire to understand, you are simply waiting for your opportunity to respond? In marriage, it is vitally important that you don’t simply desire to be heard and express your feelings, but that you take time to listen to the feelings and needs of your spouse.

There is a final form of communication that is vital to the health of a marriage and that is communication with Christ. Both the husband and the wife should be communicating with Jesus, and they should also be communicating together with Him as well. Having time of prayer and study together lays a foundation that cannot easily be broken. May the Lord bless you in your marriage and in the communication in your relationship!