“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” (Proverbs 31:10, NIV) Whether we use this verse from the perspective of a husband to evaluate his wife, or the perspective of a wife to measure herself, the real matter is this: what does the Lord mean for those who hear and heed His word?

A week before writing this article, I was preparing a message for the ministry’s Saturday Night Services for Mother’s Day. I asked the Lord what He desired for me to share with His people, and thoughts came. One of the thoughts was “Her children arise and call her blessed”. (Proverbs 31:28, NIV) That is a message for mothers, but what does it have to do with this article concerning marriage? My dear girlfriends, this is just an opening, our God has His way to lead, right?

Continually over that week, the Lord led my mind concerning the message for Mother’s Day. But He also did not forget about the article I needed to write concerning marriage. This is how Proverbs 31 showed up again. This time He led me to focus on verses 11 and 12. “Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”

When I received it, the words that caught my eye were “confidence” and “not harm”. How could it be possible for a husband to gain full confidence in his wife? What are the expectations that a husband has for his wife? Wow, the answers could be many and various! Different expectations could bring different results that led to the confidence he could have. Loyalty and faithfulness to him both physically and mentally? Being a good housekeeper? Being a loving mother? A mother who is willing to discipline and train their children? A good manager of money? Maybe a wife who is independent and who has the ability to help support the family? No matter what the requirement may be, it is something that is required all the days of her life! This is not a joke, but a standard that comes from the Word! O Lord, what do you require of a tiny little woman like me?!

Don’t misinterpret the loving kindness of our Lord, and His empathy and compassion for us. This is the interpretation of that passage from The Moody Bible Commentary:

“Her husband can readily see her worth. He trusts in her completely, with full confidence. And he has good reason, for through her he will have no lack of gain. Gain is a military term meaning “spoil” or “booty”. This suggests that she is like “a warrior in the battle of life” who wins plunder for her family, to their benefit. Indeed, all throughout her life she is a great asset to him, committed to consistently do him good and not evil.”

It begins with her husband recognizing that her value is like rubies, and not just for a moment of time, but steadily. He can trust her completely, with full confidence! Because he knows this and knows her, he will have no lack of gain. She, herself, is of great value to him! She may not know everything or do everything perfectly, but she will fight for her marriage, fight for her husband, fight for her children, and for the good of her family! A warrior is not trained within a day, but through consistent work and exercise. A warrior may fail in one battle and be wounded, but they will always get up again. A warrior disciplines themselves and obeys the order of their captain, in this case, the head of the family – her husband.

A question for a husband, “Are you following and obeying your head – Christ Jesus? And are you leading your family, your wife, and your children toward goodness and not harm?”