Ephesians 4:32 Holman Christian Standard Bible

“And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.” 

Patricia Davids wrote, “Forgiveness heals the forgiver as well as the forgiven.” I have been thinking about that sentence since I read it. Have you ever had to forgive someone? It’s really hard. It requires work, grit, and repetition. It’s usually not a one-and-done deal because we’re human, and we live between the flesh and the Spirit. It’s sometimes truly impossible to forget. However, forgetting and forgiving are two separate things. Yet, they go hand-in-hand.

In the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, to forget something means “to lose remembrance of,” while forgiving someone means” to cease to feel resentment against one’s offender.”

When we think about God, we know that He is omniscient and all- knowing. (1 John 3:20)

Yet, He found a way to forgive us for everything we have ever done through the death and resurrection of His One and Only Son, Jesus Christ. Jesus took the punishment for our offenses and sin.

When we think about the undeserved grace and forgiveness we have been given through Jesus, it’s hard to harbor unending anger and resentment towards anyone. Jesus said in Matthew 6:14-15 (HCSB), “For if you forgive people their wrongdoing, your heavenly Father will forgive you as well. But if you don’t forgive people, your Father will not forgive your wrongdoing.” 

Now before we go on the defensive and begin to question our Salvation and faith over the command to forgive others, listen (or read) closely. What this is telling us is that Jesus doesn’t want us to stay stuck. When we choose not to forgive, we are making an active choice to harbor anger and resentment, which can lead to a deep bitterness in our hearts. As a response, our hearts grow hard, and when our hearts are hardened, it separates us from God. 

I am so grateful that Jesus, throughout all of His suffering, continued to choose forgiveness. Instead of becoming resentful, angry, and bitter, He said, “... Father, forgive them, because they do not know what they are doing…” (Luke 23:34). That kind of forgiveness should move us towards forgiveness, whether our offender extends an apology or not. Because the reality is, we all offend God with our words, thoughts, and behavior, and we all need grace and forgiveness through Jesus. Therefore, we should also forgive, just as we have been forgiven.

Paul wrote in Ephesians 4:32 (HCSB), “And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.” In Colossians 3:12-13 (HCSB), he also said, “Therefore, God’s chosen ones, holy and loved, put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, accepting one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a complaint against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive.” 

Friends, forgiveness leads to freedom. Yes, it is hard and sometimes feels impossible. However, in the depths of forgiving someone else, there is healing too. I challenge you to invite God into your hurt this week. Ask Him to give you eyes to see your offender as He does and a heart full of His compassion, to extend forgiveness.