
Amanda Crews
January 25, 2025
Colossians 3:12-13, Holman Christian Standard Bible
"Therefore, God’s chosen ones, holy and loved, put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, accepting one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a complaint against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive.”
We have all seen or heard about relationships and friendships that blow up. Best friends turn into rival enemies. A person or people leave a church hurt. Two or more people are no longer on speaking terms. As a Christian, what should that really look like though? I think the stereotypical response that a lot of Christians go to and advise is to “turn the other cheek.” This Scripture reference goes back to Matthew 5:38-39 (CSB), where Jesus was talking about “Going the Second Mile.” The Scriptures reads, “You have heard that it was said, An eye for eye and a tooth for a tooth. But I tell you, don’t resist an evildoer. On the contrary, if anyone slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also.”
From a history standpoint though, “Jesus was explaining that an eye for an eye (from Exodus, Leviticus, and Deuteronomy) was not given as a mandate for personal vengeance, but as a principle to guide courts in determining appropriate punishments” (HCSB). It’s a great motto, but sometimes it’s misinterpreted, especially in relationships that contain abuse. Jesus would never call us to stay in an abusive relationship.
I think the better picture of ending a friendship or maybe even a job or other area of life where we feel pressure/dissension can be found when we look at Paul and Barnabas in Acts 15.
In Acts 15:36-41, we read of a disagreement between Paul and Barnabas. Paul wanted to circle back and visit all the towns where they had preached and brought people to know Christ. Barnabas was in agreement, but he wanted to bring along John Mark. John Mark, often called “Mark,” wrote the Book of Mark in the New Testament. Paul wanted nothing to do with Mark though because Mark had left Paul and Barnabas in Perga to return to Jerusalem on a previous trip. Scripture doesn’t tell us why, but apparently Paul felt that Mark had abandoned the mission, and he just didn’t trust him anymore. So Barnabas and Paul chose to peacefully part ways because they could not come to an agreement. Acts 15:41 tells us that Barnabas left with Mark, and Paul left with Silas.
This shows us a couple of things. First and foremost that even people close to Jesus, His apostles, could not keep perfect fellowship and unity. It demonstrates that even when we are not seeing eye-to-eye with other believers (on non-biblical principles), it’s okay to part ways peacefully and to carry on the mission of spreading the Good News of Jesus Christ. While separated though, we should prayerfully consider reunification. Jesus commanded us to “Love our neighbor as ourselves” in Mark 12:31, so our hope should always be rooted in love and forgiveness, as we, too, were offered love and forgiveness from Jesus Himself.
My friends, if there’s someone or something in your life you need to part ways with for a time, that is okay. Handle it with love and grace, not slandering one another, but instead separating in peace while praying for reconciliation. Adult relationships are hard. However, in the words of Paul, “... as God’s chosen ones, holy and loved, [we should] put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, accepting one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a complaint against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive.” (Colossians 3:12-13, CSB). When we do this, we can approach situations with new insight and softer hearts.