When I was young, I never thought I would become a parent. In fact, I never even desired to be a parent or even to be married. I didn’t enjoy being around children and to me, life was only about suffering.

But the truth is, our life stories are not written by us alone, many are involved. And, the main author is our Creator Himself, the One who give us life and who has plan for each one of us. Fourteen years ago, I became a parent. I still remember every detail. There were many thoughts was in my mind at the moment of time. I didn’t truly desire to become a mother, but I believed I had a responsible to bear a child for the man I was married to. 

As a result of how I was born and how I grew up, my body was not in good condition. It took over two years, and a variety of different treatments, for me to become pregnant. I also experienced depression during this time. The night I found out I was pregnant I was suffering from a high fever and was receiving care at the hospital. Not even a month later I also found out I had a water tumor inside my womb which was over six centimeters. My gynecologist asked me to consider the risk to my life and to make a decision whether keep the baby or risk my own life. Even though I was never a children lover, I could not murder my own child. I bet my life in this battle, and I chose not to back off. My gynecologist gave me a deadline for this consideration. If my baby could not win the battle with the tumor over the next four months, then they would likely need to terminate the pregnancy.

Day by day, my belly grew to abnormal size. Many asked me if I were having triplets. In the fifth month, I went to do my regular check-up, and I got the good news that my baby was now safe. Over those five months, he became my whole world. I talked to him every moment, I danced with him and I sang to him, my baby boy. The love for my child grew stronger and stronger in my heart. I couldn’t believe I could love someone so deeply after my mother passed away. I vowed to myself, that I will never think the way I used to think and I decided my life was now worthy to fight for.

The day he was born, it turned in to an emergency C-section and life-threatening complications with my own health. I was saved through it and I had no regrets because I now had him. The first sweet moment occurred when he heard my voice in the operation room and stopped crying. He knew my voice and he recognized that I am his mother. Is there anything that could replace this moment in my life? Not at all!

My life become completely about him. I thought I knew how to love him but, time passed and I failed. I failed to keep the covenant I made to my marriage and it ended. I failed to keep my promise not to fall back into my old life, in which I turned to alcoholic because I believed I was unworthy. I saw how weak I was, and I realized I failed not only myself, but my son as well. I became a single mother who was facing the possibility of being paralyzed from the waist down as a result of the serious complications I had during the birth process. To make things worse, the business I had started was failing. In this moment, I began to think about how my parents had failed in their life, and how much more I had failed my own son. The pride I had to be a parent, the joy I experienced when my son was born and grew, the hope I imagined we might have when we moved forward together as mother and son were all gone with the wind. This is when I met Christ!

First, He healed my body. Next, He healed my soul. He told me that I am not fatherless, but my Father in heaven has always been my father. He began to renew my mind concerning the perspective I should have about. Along the way, He taught me how to be a parent, a parent who knows what love is, and how to love my son properly. A parent knows how to love other as ourselves. He guided me to rebuild my life, and to reconciliation with my relatives. By the grace and mercy of the Father, and my Lord Jesus, I began to be the parent my son deserved to have. He knows he can trust me, he knows he is loved, and he knows he is safe because I no longer love with my own strength and understanding, my love for him instead is steady and firm because it comes from the Father’s love inside me.

I have since remarried and am now a mother of three. My oldest son is fourteen years old, my step-daughter is ten, and step-son is seven. I am different now, the old has become new. By walking with Jesus, by seeking the guidance of the Holy Spirit, and by allowing the love of the Father to fill me, I am a “New Parent” to them. A person who is reborn in the grace of God and who continuously receives wisdom and new knowledge from Him about life. At this time, my son is no longer my whole world, but Christ is. Through Jesus, I love my husband and I honor him as head of my family. Through Jesus, I love my children and blessed to know and to teach them that the best path for their life is to build it on Christ. Through Jesus, I am not only a new creation, but a new parent to my children. Thank you to the Father, to Jesus, and to Holy Spirit! Because of the Lord I have found a higher level of joy in being parent.