1 John 4:4, New International Version

“You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.”

In the waiting room, waiting to be called back for my CT scan and I realize I am in the room by the vending machines and sitting on the same couch I sat on the day of my colonoscopy, when they sent us here and I was diagnosed with cancer. It feels like a lifetime ago yet also like it was just yesterday. I remember being scared that I was going to die. I remember wondering what everything was going to be like. Upcoming surgery, then another surgery, then chemo. It all seemed impossible. How do I get cancer? How is this my reality? What about my kids? How am I going tell them? And my parents. Telling them their child has cancer and all the unknowns. I did not know how I was supposed to get through this. I don't want to die! I was only thirty-six. I want to see dances and graduations and weddings and grand babies!

After the shock wore off that day, I remember deciding that this was not going to consume me. This was not going to win! My mind will not accept defeat. I will beat this!

Now fast forward almost seven months to the day and here I am, chemo done, two surgeries done and now I am NED (No evidence of disease). I won! but best of all, I did not let the devil take control. He wanted me to have those thoughts and to have them consume me. He wanted me to crack. He wanted me to question God and lose my trust in Him. He wanted my soul. He picked the wrong girl! God is what got me through this. Everyone must make a choice for them and how they handle faith and spirituality. I don't want someone to think that they must have my faith, my belief system or I condemn them. Not at all! But when I look at what God has done, how can I stay quiet! I am a thirty-seven-year-old survivor of cancer, colon cancer to boot and I am not terminal! That in itself is a miracle. I choose faith. I choose God. And I hope that you can see God's light through me. God is good, even when life isn’t.