Mark 8:12, New International Version

“He sighed deeply and said, “Why does this generation ask for a sign? …”

We Always Want a Sign Part One

Last night as I was luxuriating in a hot bath and reading an article by one of my favorite pastors, it opened up a memory I cannot believe I ever forgot. But, as with most people, God does something truly remarkable for us … years pass … we find ourselves struggling again, and in the meantime, we erase what He miraculously has already done.

This article shared how this Pastor was at a church as a guest, and he was on fire for Christ. The congregation, however, did not feel the Holy Spirit at all. It was a non-denominational church with little presence of the Spirit. The Pastor was on fire and going at it when he turned towards the choir and there in the midst were angels stationed throughout the choir. He was absolutely in awe, and then he turned around to share hoping to inspire the congregation. Sitting at the very back of the church were two more angels. Needless to say, it was only moments later that the angels traveled throughout the congregation and brought everyone to life.

As I was reading this, in my mind, I was saying, “God, if only I could witness something as spectacular”. No sooner had the words traveled through my mind when a flashback from my early years as a Christian returned to me. I am sure it was God saying, “My gosh, don’t you remember the day I spoke to you”. That is right … I heard the audible voice of the Lord. You would think I would never ever forget that, but it is what we do. We are always asking for more signs from God to confirm this or that when in reality He has given us more signs than we ever deserved in light of His history here on earth. We have a whole Bible of signs and memorials that should suffice.

I had probably been a Christian for maybe a year, if that long. I was still struggling with a lot in my life, but God was leading me and guiding me daily. I wish I could tell you that when I gave my heart to Christ it was an instant conversion, but it was not. It was a daily growth … sometimes a minute-by-minute growth. I still struggled with understanding it all, but I just knew that what I had left behind was not worth returning to. I had a long way to go in my relationship with Christ!

On this particular day, something tragic happened in my heart and it shook the very core of my young belief system. I had been praying for a certain situation since day one of my surrender to God, knowing without a doubt that He was working on my behalf. I walked in faith no matter what appeared before me, and I was standing on that solid rock. Well, on this day, my rock shifted, and I felt as if my heart would come out of my physical chest. I can remember hitting the floor on all fours and crying out of anger, hurt, disillusionment, bitterness… you name it, and I was feeling it.

Please come back next week to read, We Always Want a Sign Part Two.